he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
