Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
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