none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You're like the curious george of whores
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
