he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
