Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
