when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
