nutella sex= disaster
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
