Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
