I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
