At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
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