dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my being single is dangerous.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
