I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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