Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
