There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Success! We fucked roommates!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
