Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize