I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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