If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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