I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
