She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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