so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
