I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
thus making me awesome and them whores
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
