I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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