Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
