so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
