Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I am one with the molecules
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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