xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
