Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
