Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
