Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
