Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm passing your future prison.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize