I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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