i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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