drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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