Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
this hospital has no fireball
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
