i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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