Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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