You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
