so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
