But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
