just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You were trust falling into bushes
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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