Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
