I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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