I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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