checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
