All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
