and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
