i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize