Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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