And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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