You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
