Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize