There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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