You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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