Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
These tits shall not be calmed
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
