what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
