i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
