I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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