ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
