haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
