Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
why do cheetos always look like penises
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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