Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
the condom got lost in my hair
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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