you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
