You're so nebulous sometimes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
