it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
