too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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